The biggest revelation so far

How old am I?  Well I remember the early 80s very vividly.  In fact, I remember some things out of the late 70s.  When I thought about this whole "dating" thing I really did set an age threshold.

I am sorry if this offends anyone in either of the age groups I am discussing.  It isn't meant to be offensive.  Well unless you talk to my kids.  

I figured that if a very active and energetic 60 year old was interested in me, I could do that.  But I also thought that maybe there may be a 30 year old man that might be interested in an older woman and appreciate her experience and wisdom then I could deal with that as well.  In fact, I joked with one of my girls that I would even go up to 75 if he had a lot of farm land.  *just kidding……..right?*

I had no idea that there was an entire group of men out there that want to be with older women.  As the chat requests were coming in, the age groups of some of these men were 30 year old from Des Moines; 31 year old from Manning, 33 year old from Urbandale, 27 year old from Louisiana, 29 year old from Winterset, 32 year old from New York City.

It is flattering and incredible really.  I have not particularly sought out younger men.  I didn't put on my profile that I was looking for a younger man.  In fact, my age is posted all over the place.  These guys have sought me out.  And one in particular I will tell you about.

I call him Yellow Underpants.  

Note!  This is not him.

He was 28 years old and his first comment to me was "Hello Beautiful. How can we meet?"  I was going to ignore him.  Did you see the 28 year old age?  That is the age of my oldest children.  I started chatting because I was intrigued.  After much going back and forth, text numbers were exchanged.  Then the interesting part began.  Now did I mention the body on this kid?  I learned that he was a UFC fighter.  He also 'calls in sick to work to go workout at the gym'.  Who does that?  I call in sick to the gym.  Any way………He has an amazing body.  My favorite part of an amazing body is those little ridges by his hips.  Yep he had those. *children warning* - if new to this blog this is where my adult children are supposed to stop reading or read at their own risk.  

Any way, we agreed to meet.

Yellow underpants comes in because Mr. 28 likes to text pictures of himself - more about that in a future post.  But my favorite text picture of him was these yellow underpants (not him in the above picture - respecting his privacy) with his hot body radiating amazingness.  Not only was this boy hot, but he was very very much into older women.  That is what he preferred.  He wants them over 45 and soft and curvy.  He was very clear about what his intentions were and I was on board as well.  More on this "meet up" in a later post.  Yep, you gotta wait.

But I want to end this post with some words of advice for those of you that are out there looking.  Be BRAVE!  Don't limit yourself to what you think is available.  I never in a million years thought that younger men would be interested in me.  I never in a million years thought I would meet up with or 'date' men that are 30 years old.  So don't limit yourself you never know what might be waiting out there in yellow underpants and incredible abs.

Dating and Technology

Dating.  I hate that word.  The connotations of uncomfortableness.  Awkward conversation pauses.  Lack of chemistry.  Unknown backgrounds.  The whole concept is weird to me because each person doesn't see the person's true character because both are putting on a show.

The last time I was on a 'date' as a single woman?  I was 19.  That was almost 30 years ago.  Back then we didn't have dating apps, match.com, etc.  We had the college union, in-person social groups, and bars.  We still have that now, but it has stepped up a notch.  It is evident to me that technology has taken over in this realm.  It has evolved in the last 30 years and I have discovered that it is a minefield to navigate.  And with smartphones, it is at your fingertips 24/7.  So "dating" doesn't happen from 7:00 pm until 12 or 1:00 am.  It's a 24/7 discussion, chat, video exchange with replies and responses waiting in in-boxes with anticipation for a reply.



I was introduced to this online site - I am not going to give them advertising here for many reasons - but just say that it was one of the many sites that also has an app for my iPhone.

So how do you get started?

Step 1:  Choose a site.  I chose this particular one because *children warning* (you will see these throughout my blog and it is a trigger for my kids to stop reading) it has a reputation for being a 'hook-up' site because I am not looking for a serious relationship and yes I was only looking for a hook-up.  Leave your judgement at the door people.


Step 2:  Set up your profile.  Those four words have never been more threatening and intimidating.  What words do you use?  How much do you say?  What pictures do you use?  How much personal info do you give?  As a person that dislikes (OKAY HATES!!!!!!) her own selfies……..this was so very hard.  What do I wear?  How does my hair look?  What should be in the background?  Should I take the picture in the mirror full body (YIKES!) or just my face?  Do I put my REAL age on the profile?  Well I decided to do one picture with just my face and upper body.  My profile is brief yet to the point and has the word 'fun' in it about six times.  Yes my real age is on the profile.  I assumed that meant that I would only get 'hits' from those my age.  More about that in a later post.


Step 3:  Await the responses.  Now this part.  I had my own personal rule.  As I am surfing through the site with pictures scrolling by of 'available' people, I would not reach out to a person that I was interested in.  I would wait for them to approach me.  I thought:  "This will be safe.  Not many people will reach out.  A couple maybe.  No big deal".   HA!  WRONG!  Right away within minutes, the discussions began.



Step 4:  The chat.  What does one talk about with a complete stranger as you are typing?  Most of the time it starts with:

  Me:  Hello  

Mr. Chat:  How are you?  

Me:  I'm great.  You?  

Mr. Chat:  I'm great as well.  

(Here is where it takes one of three turns)

Direction 1:  
Mr. Chat:  So what are you looking for on this site.  
Me:  Just friendship and chatting right now?  You?  
Mr. Chat:  The same.  Tell me a bit about yourself.  
Me:  *blah blah blah* 
(and that goes back and forth for a little while)

Direction 2:  

Mr. Chat:  So what are you looking for on this site.  

Me:  Just friendship and chatting right now?  You?  

Mr. Chat:  I am looking for my soulmate.  I think you are her.  

Me:  *Shaking my head*

Direction 3:  
Mr. Chat:  Wanna see my penis?  
Me:  Sure *see previous desire for a hook-up*
Mr. Chat:  *sends said penis*  Your turn.  
Me:  NOPE.  I don't have a penis.  :P

Step 5:  The disengage.  This should be the easy part right?  Ignore, Block, Decline.  And in most cases it is.  The weirdos move on to a different person.  Those that are persistent keep trying over and over again until I must block them.  And DON'T EVER feel bad about BLOCKING them.  At this point they are strangers on the other end of a keyboard.  You owe them nothing.


So that is the quick and dirty on an internet dating site/app.  My only words of wisdom for whatever they may be worth…….TREAD LIGHTLY AND BE WARY…… NOT ALL IS WHAT IT SEEMS.

A change is a coming……….

Truer words have never been uttered.  And in particular with this space.  

In the past this was a venue for ranting or voicing my very strong opinion about topics of the day.  In most cases it had to do with violence against women and children topics.  I used this forum to review music and movies.  It also was a place for me to share my adventures.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I am on a new adventure.

Being single in my late 40s is the core of that adventure.  So this blog is now called "Post Divorce Guide to Living Single".  My views and opinions will still be a part of this, but the topic has changed.

Tune in for topics like technology and dating.  Other tidbits like toy shopping.  Safe sex at 48.  And internet dating - WTF?

I am being dragged along kicking and screaming through this minefield.  YOU ARE COMING WITH ME!!!!