NOT GUILTY!

This week has SUCKED!  I can't even begin to tell you the Crabby Sucky Mood that I have been in.

It all began when I received the following information for a Sexual Assault Trial.  Make sure you go to the link and read it from first sentence to last paragraph.  Then I read this article regarding the last part of the trial.  Again, make sure you read it from first sentence to last paragraph.  And then here is the verdict.  Again, please read beginning to end.  The context of the rest of this RANT will not work unless you are immersed in the details of this case.

By the time I get to the second sentence of the first article, my blood is boiling.  The brutality of the perpetrator and the indifference of the system is amazingly sickening.  I can not understand how a jury of 12 people can listen to the evidence relayed in these two articles and say not guilty.  NOT GUILTY?  Since when does consensual sex leave a laceration injury completely to the pelvic bone?  It makes me physically sick to think about the pain this victim went through.  The defendant and the victim both testified that she said "NO".  Even though the Iowa Code is very specific about what constitutes a "NO".  It doesn't matter, they both testified that she said NO.

And the so called EXPERT said that "NO REALLY MEANS YES".   WHAT THE FUCK??????  In what instance does NO MEAN YES?  Give me an example of NO means YES!  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????????

Okay - breathe.......As an advocate, I am not naive enough to think that the criminal justice system works.  It is my experience that in sexual assault cases it very RARELY works.  Statistics show that less than 5% of perpetrators of sexual assault NATIONWIDE actually spend any time in jail.  I get that.  I  HATE IT, but I get it.  So to hear a case as blatant as this one fit the mold of what we know to be true about sexual assault.  The victim's behavior......the perpetrator's behavior........law enforcement's........medical professions.......it goes on and on and on.  TEXTBOOK!!!!

When I worked directly with victims and as I taught future victim advocates, I stressed that we have to send a very confusing message:  Victim's need to report the assault that happens to them.....but at the same time we have to tell them that even though you report, and go through all the humiliation and pain of the report (just after you were BRUTALLY RAPED), you must find a way to heal from this trauma in spite of the flaws of the judicial system and all the breakdowns that come from that.  I wish I could say that for every case like this there are 4 success stories (some credible statistic); but I CAN'T.

So what do we do as a society?  How should juries be more educated about victimization, trauma and perpetrator behavior.  I think it has to come from the entire communities that we live in.  GET OVER YOURSELVES and the thought that 'this can't happen to me because I make better choices'.  Or.....this is the rare case because the real perpetrator is the pedophile registered next door or the stranger that jumps out of the bushes on the trail when I am running.  The real perpetrator is the person we know -- the relative that has been perpetrating generation after generation after generation and the family system that enables it to continue with secrecy and protection.  The real perpetrator is the acquaintance that "parties" with you and forces you by holding you in a chair and then pushing you to the floor and tearing up your insides from the forced sex.  The real perpetrator is the husband that forces his wife to have sex because the alternative choice is a kick to the stomach or the head.

Hard words to read?  Imagine what she is going through?

GENDERCIDE -- it really isn't just happening in other countries (see my previous post entitled WAR ON HUMANITY).  The gendercide happening here is more covert.  The "life sentence" that this victim received will be the permanent damage from the physical assault of the rape.  It will be the flashbacks and memories FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE!  It will be a life sentence of trauma recovery.  Can she heal and "FORGET ABOUT IT (don't fucking get me started on therapist that do 'just forget about it' therapy)?  Absolutely - and I am confident that because she has survived this long, she will be able to do that - she is STRONG.  But it will affect decisions and choices she makes for the rest of her life.  It affects who she chooses for a partner.  It affects her decisions regarding having children.  It affects her career choices.

As I am writing this, I then get a notice from a local news station (cuz that's how I get my information overload) regarding the verdict for a local (here in DM on another college campus) sexual abuse trial.  YEAH!  A victory in a very brutal sexual assault trial.  Are these two cases different?  Yes.  While I am ecstatic that there is a verdict of GUILTY in a sexual assault trial.  I wonder if the verdict would have been the same had the victim been female.  The victims were put on trial in both cases.  Their sexual history, their behavior prior to the assault(s) and decisions THEY made.

This is where the rant comes in.  Our system has all these things put in place to protect the rights of the defendant - I understand why that is important.  But what about the rights of the victim?  When will those become MORE important in ALL jurisdictions (not just 'educated and informed jurisdictions' but ALL) than the rights of the defendant?  When (OH MY GOD WHEN) will we hold people truly accountable for their behaviors?

So I have a question for the jurors of the BVU case?  What if this happened to your daughter?  Your sister?  Your mother?  Or for those six women sitting on the jury, YOU?  Would your decision be the same?  Or is this your way of protecting yourself?  Because if you find this monster (by the way the celebration in the hallway AFTER the fact  - so much so that the defense attorney had to tell him to go home!! - that should tell anybody involved or following this case the real answer - OMFG) guilty, then you have to admit to yourself that this could happen to you or to your loved one.  You can't then blame it on the decisions or choices made leading up to the assault.  Is that what this comes down to?

Next week has GOT to be a better week!