In the middle of a very busy weekend so I am going to take just a little time to write. I feel the need to write about mindfulness this morning. Mindfulness is a practice of working daily to be in the present. To be deliberate about watering seeds of kindness, joy, and love.
I feel the need to write this down because I haven't done that very much in the last few weeks. It has been very hard to not stay in the moment. To worry and fret about the future, about others, about myself. I was once told that worry is a form of control - and since I do it a lot - and there are those that feel like I am a control freak - what? - it doesn't surprise me that I worry and fret.
An example in my current meditation book "The Miracle of Mindfulness" discusses washing dishes. When we talk about "being in the moment or the present" one would not think that it would be while we are washing dishes. But Thich Nhat Hanh says that even the smallest task, like washing the dishes, should be done in the present. For a person that uses housework as a way to process and ponder life's challenges, this statement freaks me out a bit. "while washing the dishes one should be completely aware of the fact that one is washing the dishes. At first glance, that might seem a little silly (YA THINK?): why put so much stress on a simple thing?" But that is his point: ".....being completely myself, following my breath, conscious of my presence, and conscious of my thought and actions". It seems incredibly silly to think of this simple task as mindful, but the mindfulness practice can begin with that mundane task. And as I type this I realize he wouldn't be very happy with me calling any task throughout the day as "mundane". All tasks and thoughts have their place whether big or small.
Mindfulness is "taking hold of one's breath". I have been trying (some times not very successfully) to pay attention to my breath. I know that when I am stressed or upset, my breath is shorter and quicker. This then leads to tense muscles and less cleansing breaths. THUS, I need a massage and an O2 tank this week. Hanh says "breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts. Whenever your mind becomes scattered, use your breath as the means to take hold of your mind again." Breath is a "tool to build up concentration power. Concentration power is the strength which comes from practicing mindfulness."
Does that mean that lack of concentrated breathing means lack of focus and concentration? If so, then that would explain a lot. How many of us have done the whole "walk into a room and not remember what you went in there for"? How many of us feel unfocused and disconnected throughout the week? Could this be solved by systematic breathing through awareness of our breath (meditation....)?
Meditation looks different than what we have in our brain. It doesn't have to be sitting in the "lotus" position with our eyes closed humming "OHM". Standing at the sink doing dishes and paying attention to our breath and nothing else in our lives except the dishes at that particular moment.
OLD HABITS are hard to break. So I plan to take it slow -- too much multi-tasking -- when I do the dishes, I do the dishes. When I fold laundry, I fold laundry. Nothing else in my day will insert itself in my brain. WOW.......this is going to be hard! Okay - here we go. BREATHE IN.........BREATH OUT.........focus on just what I am doing, not all those lists in my head or those hundreds of worries that I have in my brain or those many things that I have NO control over.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Biorhythms, Energy and my MOOD
Kicking the doldrums in the BUTT hasn't been a success at all probably for the last almost 2 to 3 months. I can't explain it other than I just want to hibernate and be anti-social. Investigating what it all means. Some would say depression. But ALAS, I have had that checked by a professional and the diagnosis was 'not so much'. So.............I started to research biorhythms. Of course 'there is an app for that'.
Curtis and I are hooked into the Apple cloud. What the hell does that mean? It means that when one of us downloads an App it shows up on the other's phone. So good thing there are no male stripper apps huh? Any-who.....he downloaded this app for our iPhones that shows us where our biorhythms are......well let me tell you!
Wait....first of all -- what are biorhythms? Biorhythms are "a cyclically recurring pattern of physiological states in an organism or organ, such as alpha rhythm or circadian rhythm; believed by some to affect physical and mental states and behavior". Here is an online Online Biorhythm Chart that you can do for yourself.
I put all this information in my app and discovered something very interesting. My intellectual, physical and emotional rhythms have ALL been less than 0 (range is 100% to 0% to -100%) for a bit now. Emotional has been hanging in the -90% range. Ah - HA! Solution! Nope - Not so fast. They haven't been there for 2-3 months - just a couple days.
And as most of my faithful readers know, I am especially tuned in to energy and the "feelings" I get from people and situations. Well that has been a bit messed up during this time period. I still get those strong CREEPER feelings. But my usual energy feelings from people are clouded by something. I have NO IDEA what it is, but it is freaking me out. Is that some weird paranormal energy seeping in to disrupt the patterns? Does my emotional biorhythm in the negative have an affect on it? My friends on ghost hunters would likely confirm that. I just want it to come back. I feel all discombobulated (yeah - that's a word) when I don't have that energy gauge.
So what does this all mean? I am still grumpy. I am still crabby. I can't shut my brain off at night so no sleep. So I am tired. The not so good news is when I look ahead to see where my biorhythms are in a week or two -- emotional is still hanging low - -90% again! So I don't see any tunnel out of this any time soon. This is the official warning. Gonna be lots of silence and just doing my thing for the next couple of weeks. And I will work very hard to move through it, but today I feel like I need a bulldozer to push it all aside.
Curtis and I are hooked into the Apple cloud. What the hell does that mean? It means that when one of us downloads an App it shows up on the other's phone. So good thing there are no male stripper apps huh? Any-who.....he downloaded this app for our iPhones that shows us where our biorhythms are......well let me tell you!
Wait....first of all -- what are biorhythms? Biorhythms are "a cyclically recurring pattern of physiological states in an organism or organ, such as alpha rhythm or circadian rhythm; believed by some to affect physical and mental states and behavior". Here is an online Online Biorhythm Chart that you can do for yourself.
I put all this information in my app and discovered something very interesting. My intellectual, physical and emotional rhythms have ALL been less than 0 (range is 100% to 0% to -100%) for a bit now. Emotional has been hanging in the -90% range. Ah - HA! Solution! Nope - Not so fast. They haven't been there for 2-3 months - just a couple days.
And as most of my faithful readers know, I am especially tuned in to energy and the "feelings" I get from people and situations. Well that has been a bit messed up during this time period. I still get those strong CREEPER feelings. But my usual energy feelings from people are clouded by something. I have NO IDEA what it is, but it is freaking me out. Is that some weird paranormal energy seeping in to disrupt the patterns? Does my emotional biorhythm in the negative have an affect on it? My friends on ghost hunters would likely confirm that. I just want it to come back. I feel all discombobulated (yeah - that's a word) when I don't have that energy gauge.
So what does this all mean? I am still grumpy. I am still crabby. I can't shut my brain off at night so no sleep. So I am tired. The not so good news is when I look ahead to see where my biorhythms are in a week or two -- emotional is still hanging low - -90% again! So I don't see any tunnel out of this any time soon. This is the official warning. Gonna be lots of silence and just doing my thing for the next couple of weeks. And I will work very hard to move through it, but today I feel like I need a bulldozer to push it all aside.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Happy Sunday - Coffee Drinkers and Tea Sippers
It has been an eventful week since I have written down my thoughts and ideas in this space.
From wedding dress fitting adventures to dog vaccine crisis and throw in a couple extremely crabby-filled days, it has been a roller coaster.
Bailey and I ventured to Cedar Rapids and met up with the future in-laws for a wedding dress extravaganza. Kara and her sister were way more patient than I think I would have been. Kara looked beautiful in every dress that she tried. And she found the one that works.........I won't post it here, because my amazing son doesn't want to see the dress until the day of......But trust me it is beautiful. It was an emotional day for all and as you can see Emily was a little "verklempt" because her baby looked so beautiful.
Emily and I had fun looking at some of the ugly Mother of the "__________" dresses. She and I will be life long friends and I am so happy that she and I enjoy each other's company.
Before this adventure, I took our dogs in for their annual Spring vaccines and check ups. The vet (who we really like normally and does a great job with our little girls) talked me in to a Liptrospirosis vaccine. So I did it. Got everything else done and headed home. Within 45 minutes, Zoe's head swelled to twice it's size, she had hives, and was having problems breathing. (Too stressed to take pictures of her. ) Rushed her back to the vet, where they gave her a steroid shot and an antihistamine shot. Poor thing. She looked miserable and then was very, very loopy. This was all close to about 8:00 pm by the time we got it all wrapped up (the time the vet closes). About two hours later, Stella starts her reaction to the vaccine. She started itching and her eyes were watering and she was hacking/coughing. So we rushed her to the Vet emergency room at ISU in Ames and they took great care of her and did the same thing with the steroids and the antihistamine and sent us on our way. That night Stella got worse. She wouldn't sleep, seemed to be having a reaction to the antihistamines (kind of like when a kid has the opposite reaction to benedryl and it makes them hyper). I was up all night with her. The next morning, I took her back to the vet; was very tired so very grumpy with the vet and they kept her for observation. She wouldn't walk on her back legs. So this mommy automatically goes to neurological damage. They called me Friday afternoon and said "she seems to be fine it was a reaction to the antihistamine" - I picked her up. NOT fine.....FAR from fine. So we kept watch through another night and I had to head to Cedar Rapids the next morning. Curtis ended up taking her back to the vet AGAIN on Saturday. They kept her again -- no diagnosis -- but since she was not eating or drinking at this point, they gave her fluids and another steroid shot. Still not doing well when I got back Saturday night. This whole story DOES have a happy ending. By Sunday afternoon, she was back to some what of her old self. She finally started eating and playing little bit. WHEW! Feel like we dodge a bullet. Advice to little dog owners reading this.......do research on any vaccine before they want you to get it done.
Chihuahuas are sensitive to different things any way. I think this just reaffirmed that I will say "no thank you let me wait" next time until I can get my ducks in a row. Side note - they are supposed to go back for a three week booster - NOT GONNA HAPPEN!
This weekend we are in Spencer for a friends' child's wedding. It was beautiful and very emotional. I miss seeing my Kathy and all the folks that were all there supporting KK.
Great job with those boys by the way. Grown up into incredible men.
The week rounded out with complete crabbiness that I can't shake. I am not sure where it is coming from, but it needs to go away. Meditation hasn't helped. Alcohol helps temporarily. I hope it is just some biorhythms thing and I will move out of it next week. We will see. Have a great one y'all and catch ya later.
From wedding dress fitting adventures to dog vaccine crisis and throw in a couple extremely crabby-filled days, it has been a roller coaster.
 |
| A Mother-Daughter moment |
Emily and I had fun looking at some of the ugly Mother of the "__________" dresses. She and I will be life long friends and I am so happy that she and I enjoy each other's company.
Before this adventure, I took our dogs in for their annual Spring vaccines and check ups. The vet (who we really like normally and does a great job with our little girls) talked me in to a Liptrospirosis vaccine. So I did it. Got everything else done and headed home. Within 45 minutes, Zoe's head swelled to twice it's size, she had hives, and was having problems breathing. (Too stressed to take pictures of her. ) Rushed her back to the vet, where they gave her a steroid shot and an antihistamine shot. Poor thing. She looked miserable and then was very, very loopy. This was all close to about 8:00 pm by the time we got it all wrapped up (the time the vet closes). About two hours later, Stella starts her reaction to the vaccine. She started itching and her eyes were watering and she was hacking/coughing. So we rushed her to the Vet emergency room at ISU in Ames and they took great care of her and did the same thing with the steroids and the antihistamine and sent us on our way. That night Stella got worse. She wouldn't sleep, seemed to be having a reaction to the antihistamines (kind of like when a kid has the opposite reaction to benedryl and it makes them hyper). I was up all night with her. The next morning, I took her back to the vet; was very tired so very grumpy with the vet and they kept her for observation. She wouldn't walk on her back legs. So this mommy automatically goes to neurological damage. They called me Friday afternoon and said "she seems to be fine it was a reaction to the antihistamine" - I picked her up. NOT fine.....FAR from fine. So we kept watch through another night and I had to head to Cedar Rapids the next morning. Curtis ended up taking her back to the vet AGAIN on Saturday. They kept her again -- no diagnosis -- but since she was not eating or drinking at this point, they gave her fluids and another steroid shot. Still not doing well when I got back Saturday night. This whole story DOES have a happy ending. By Sunday afternoon, she was back to some what of her old self. She finally started eating and playing little bit. WHEW! Feel like we dodge a bullet. Advice to little dog owners reading this.......do research on any vaccine before they want you to get it done.
 |
| Zoe on Sunday -- three days after the incident and she looks MUCH better |
Chihuahuas are sensitive to different things any way. I think this just reaffirmed that I will say "no thank you let me wait" next time until I can get my ducks in a row. Side note - they are supposed to go back for a three week booster - NOT GONNA HAPPEN!
This weekend we are in Spencer for a friends' child's wedding. It was beautiful and very emotional. I miss seeing my Kathy and all the folks that were all there supporting KK.
Great job with those boys by the way. Grown up into incredible men.
The week rounded out with complete crabbiness that I can't shake. I am not sure where it is coming from, but it needs to go away. Meditation hasn't helped. Alcohol helps temporarily. I hope it is just some biorhythms thing and I will move out of it next week. We will see. Have a great one y'all and catch ya later.
Friday, May 4, 2012
NOT GUILTY!
This week has SUCKED! I can't even begin to tell you the Crabby Sucky Mood that I have been in.
It all began when I received the following information for a Sexual Assault Trial. Make sure you go to the link and read it from first sentence to last paragraph. Then I read this article regarding the last part of the trial. Again, make sure you read it from first sentence to last paragraph. And then here is the verdict. Again, please read beginning to end. The context of the rest of this RANT will not work unless you are immersed in the details of this case.
By the time I get to the second sentence of the first article, my blood is boiling. The brutality of the perpetrator and the indifference of the system is amazingly sickening. I can not understand how a jury of 12 people can listen to the evidence relayed in these two articles and say not guilty. NOT GUILTY? Since when does consensual sex leave a laceration injury completely to the pelvic bone? It makes me physically sick to think about the pain this victim went through. The defendant and the victim both testified that she said "NO". Even though the Iowa Code is very specific about what constitutes a "NO". It doesn't matter, they both testified that she said NO.
And the so called EXPERT said that "NO REALLY MEANS YES". WHAT THE FUCK?????? In what instance does NO MEAN YES? Give me an example of NO means YES! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????????
Okay - breathe.......As an advocate, I am not naive enough to think that the criminal justice system works. It is my experience that in sexual assault cases it very RARELY works. Statistics show that less than 5% of perpetrators of sexual assault NATIONWIDE actually spend any time in jail. I get that. I HATE IT, but I get it. So to hear a case as blatant as this one fit the mold of what we know to be true about sexual assault. The victim's behavior......the perpetrator's behavior........law enforcement's........medical professions.......it goes on and on and on. TEXTBOOK!!!!
When I worked directly with victims and as I taught future victim advocates, I stressed that we have to send a very confusing message: Victim's need to report the assault that happens to them.....but at the same time we have to tell them that even though you report, and go through all the humiliation and pain of the report (just after you were BRUTALLY RAPED), you must find a way to heal from this trauma in spite of the flaws of the judicial system and all the breakdowns that come from that. I wish I could say that for every case like this there are 4 success stories (some credible statistic); but I CAN'T.
So what do we do as a society? How should juries be more educated about victimization, trauma and perpetrator behavior. I think it has to come from the entire communities that we live in. GET OVER YOURSELVES and the thought that 'this can't happen to me because I make better choices'. Or.....this is the rare case because the real perpetrator is the pedophile registered next door or the stranger that jumps out of the bushes on the trail when I am running. The real perpetrator is the person we know -- the relative that has been perpetrating generation after generation after generation and the family system that enables it to continue with secrecy and protection. The real perpetrator is the acquaintance that "parties" with you and forces you by holding you in a chair and then pushing you to the floor and tearing up your insides from the forced sex. The real perpetrator is the husband that forces his wife to have sex because the alternative choice is a kick to the stomach or the head.
Hard words to read? Imagine what she is going through?
GENDERCIDE -- it really isn't just happening in other countries (see my previous post entitled WAR ON HUMANITY). The gendercide happening here is more covert. The "life sentence" that this victim received will be the permanent damage from the physical assault of the rape. It will be the flashbacks and memories FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE! It will be a life sentence of trauma recovery. Can she heal and "FORGET ABOUT IT (don't fucking get me started on therapist that do 'just forget about it' therapy)? Absolutely - and I am confident that because she has survived this long, she will be able to do that - she is STRONG. But it will affect decisions and choices she makes for the rest of her life. It affects who she chooses for a partner. It affects her decisions regarding having children. It affects her career choices.
As I am writing this, I then get a notice from a local news station (cuz that's how I get my information overload) regarding the verdict for a local (here in DM on another college campus) sexual abuse trial. YEAH! A victory in a very brutal sexual assault trial. Are these two cases different? Yes. While I am ecstatic that there is a verdict of GUILTY in a sexual assault trial. I wonder if the verdict would have been the same had the victim been female. The victims were put on trial in both cases. Their sexual history, their behavior prior to the assault(s) and decisions THEY made.
This is where the rant comes in. Our system has all these things put in place to protect the rights of the defendant - I understand why that is important. But what about the rights of the victim? When will those become MORE important in ALL jurisdictions (not just 'educated and informed jurisdictions' but ALL) than the rights of the defendant? When (OH MY GOD WHEN) will we hold people truly accountable for their behaviors?
So I have a question for the jurors of the BVU case? What if this happened to your daughter? Your sister? Your mother? Or for those six women sitting on the jury, YOU? Would your decision be the same? Or is this your way of protecting yourself? Because if you find this monster (by the way the celebration in the hallway AFTER the fact - so much so that the defense attorney had to tell him to go home!! - that should tell anybody involved or following this case the real answer - OMFG) guilty, then you have to admit to yourself that this could happen to you or to your loved one. You can't then blame it on the decisions or choices made leading up to the assault. Is that what this comes down to?
Next week has GOT to be a better week!
It all began when I received the following information for a Sexual Assault Trial. Make sure you go to the link and read it from first sentence to last paragraph. Then I read this article regarding the last part of the trial. Again, make sure you read it from first sentence to last paragraph. And then here is the verdict. Again, please read beginning to end. The context of the rest of this RANT will not work unless you are immersed in the details of this case.
By the time I get to the second sentence of the first article, my blood is boiling. The brutality of the perpetrator and the indifference of the system is amazingly sickening. I can not understand how a jury of 12 people can listen to the evidence relayed in these two articles and say not guilty. NOT GUILTY? Since when does consensual sex leave a laceration injury completely to the pelvic bone? It makes me physically sick to think about the pain this victim went through. The defendant and the victim both testified that she said "NO". Even though the Iowa Code is very specific about what constitutes a "NO". It doesn't matter, they both testified that she said NO.
And the so called EXPERT said that "NO REALLY MEANS YES". WHAT THE FUCK?????? In what instance does NO MEAN YES? Give me an example of NO means YES! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????????
Okay - breathe.......As an advocate, I am not naive enough to think that the criminal justice system works. It is my experience that in sexual assault cases it very RARELY works. Statistics show that less than 5% of perpetrators of sexual assault NATIONWIDE actually spend any time in jail. I get that. I HATE IT, but I get it. So to hear a case as blatant as this one fit the mold of what we know to be true about sexual assault. The victim's behavior......the perpetrator's behavior........law enforcement's........medical professions.......it goes on and on and on. TEXTBOOK!!!!
When I worked directly with victims and as I taught future victim advocates, I stressed that we have to send a very confusing message: Victim's need to report the assault that happens to them.....but at the same time we have to tell them that even though you report, and go through all the humiliation and pain of the report (just after you were BRUTALLY RAPED), you must find a way to heal from this trauma in spite of the flaws of the judicial system and all the breakdowns that come from that. I wish I could say that for every case like this there are 4 success stories (some credible statistic); but I CAN'T.
So what do we do as a society? How should juries be more educated about victimization, trauma and perpetrator behavior. I think it has to come from the entire communities that we live in. GET OVER YOURSELVES and the thought that 'this can't happen to me because I make better choices'. Or.....this is the rare case because the real perpetrator is the pedophile registered next door or the stranger that jumps out of the bushes on the trail when I am running. The real perpetrator is the person we know -- the relative that has been perpetrating generation after generation after generation and the family system that enables it to continue with secrecy and protection. The real perpetrator is the acquaintance that "parties" with you and forces you by holding you in a chair and then pushing you to the floor and tearing up your insides from the forced sex. The real perpetrator is the husband that forces his wife to have sex because the alternative choice is a kick to the stomach or the head.
Hard words to read? Imagine what she is going through?
GENDERCIDE -- it really isn't just happening in other countries (see my previous post entitled WAR ON HUMANITY). The gendercide happening here is more covert. The "life sentence" that this victim received will be the permanent damage from the physical assault of the rape. It will be the flashbacks and memories FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE! It will be a life sentence of trauma recovery. Can she heal and "FORGET ABOUT IT (don't fucking get me started on therapist that do 'just forget about it' therapy)? Absolutely - and I am confident that because she has survived this long, she will be able to do that - she is STRONG. But it will affect decisions and choices she makes for the rest of her life. It affects who she chooses for a partner. It affects her decisions regarding having children. It affects her career choices.
As I am writing this, I then get a notice from a local news station (cuz that's how I get my information overload) regarding the verdict for a local (here in DM on another college campus) sexual abuse trial. YEAH! A victory in a very brutal sexual assault trial. Are these two cases different? Yes. While I am ecstatic that there is a verdict of GUILTY in a sexual assault trial. I wonder if the verdict would have been the same had the victim been female. The victims were put on trial in both cases. Their sexual history, their behavior prior to the assault(s) and decisions THEY made.
This is where the rant comes in. Our system has all these things put in place to protect the rights of the defendant - I understand why that is important. But what about the rights of the victim? When will those become MORE important in ALL jurisdictions (not just 'educated and informed jurisdictions' but ALL) than the rights of the defendant? When (OH MY GOD WHEN) will we hold people truly accountable for their behaviors?
So I have a question for the jurors of the BVU case? What if this happened to your daughter? Your sister? Your mother? Or for those six women sitting on the jury, YOU? Would your decision be the same? Or is this your way of protecting yourself? Because if you find this monster (by the way the celebration in the hallway AFTER the fact - so much so that the defense attorney had to tell him to go home!! - that should tell anybody involved or following this case the real answer - OMFG) guilty, then you have to admit to yourself that this could happen to you or to your loved one. You can't then blame it on the decisions or choices made leading up to the assault. Is that what this comes down to?
Next week has GOT to be a better week!
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Dreary Saturday Morning Coffee Ponderings
The warm liquid is a welcome blessing this morning on this dreary damp day. I recall the weather guy last night saying that by mid-morning it will be sunny and beautiful. It looks like a thick cloud layer this morning may thwart any outside plans that I had. I am not going to complain however (except for having to click the furnace on this morning - BRRRrrrr) because the moisture is a blessing and we need it.
Two themes this week - CHANGE and COMPLETION.
Completion first - my first semester of going back to school wraps up this week. I look back to 16 weeks ago when it started and think - "whew" and "that wasn't so bad". I think I said that right after childbirth too. YIKES! But the first few weeks seemed very hectic and I couldn't get into the groove. It seemed I was always stumbling and frantic to get the assignments done and submitted by the deadline. BTW - all the courses were online. However, as the semester kept going, it seemed to be a little easier for me. And I believe if I recall many people said that it would be that way. So "you all were right". As I finish up this week (hopefully have it all done by the weekend), I think I will be a straight A student which hasn't happened since HIGH SCHOOL! Maybe we should all wait to go to school until we are well into our 40s. Probably not reasonable huh? I have discovered in this process that I am not sure I could take an actual classroom class at this point. I am sure there are things that are lost in translation between the online chat and what the other students are submitting for assignments, but I think I may be too old and impatient to sit in a classroom and hear some of the comments, attitudes and ideas of the younger students. Patience! Praying for patience!
Another completion is that Miss Bailey graduates from DMACC this next week. Wednesday night we will all converge on Wells Fargo Arena (yeah - the arena) for the largest graduating class from DMACC in their history. She has done very well in her community college experience and we are proud of her. We attended her last vocal concert last night where she had a solo and did such a good job. Curtis videotaped it so watch Facebook and/or here for a post when it gets edited. The next process is under way for her. Job interview next week and hopefully she can secure a FT job while she tries to save some money to finish her 4 year degree.
Change (and a sort of completion) -- Today is the one year anniversary of my transition to Central Iowa. I can't believe that it has been a year already. Many things have happened in that year - too numerous to list here - however in the big picture they all have been positive. While this sort of thing is always a challenge, it was definitely the CORRECT decision for me and for my family. It amazes me that the process started October 2010 after a little journey to a spiritual place in North Carolina. After that retreat, I knew that I needed to make a big change in my life. And four months later the transition began.
So now there is a new job, a new house, a new life -- that sounds KIND OF like a Michael Buble song (sexy, sexy man - in a nerdy sort of way) - and I'm feeling GOOD.
So back to typing my last film class journal and studying for my Intro to Human Services (that still makes me laugh) final. I have missed posting here -- sorry for the delays. I will have more time this Summer. I decided not to take any classes this Summer -- many reasons, but most of all I am looking to transition to USD online courses sooner than a graduation from DMACC maybe. Don't want to go through the motions of getting that degree from DMACC and then not everything transfers. Colleges seem to like to do that for some reason. So off this summer and back at it this fall finishing up at either DMACC or USD.
Have a great day y'all and I want to share with you something that brought me immense joy this week. Take a quick five minutes and watch the video of Sophia Grace and Rosie meeting Nicki Minaj on Ellen. Those two little girls have so much energy and "WOO HOO"ness that I hope it is never squelched by any one. My favorite part is the reactions of the parents because they know what this means to them to meet their idol. And I LOVE Nicki Minaj. Watch and laugh -- and have JOY today!
Two themes this week - CHANGE and COMPLETION.
Completion first - my first semester of going back to school wraps up this week. I look back to 16 weeks ago when it started and think - "whew" and "that wasn't so bad". I think I said that right after childbirth too. YIKES! But the first few weeks seemed very hectic and I couldn't get into the groove. It seemed I was always stumbling and frantic to get the assignments done and submitted by the deadline. BTW - all the courses were online. However, as the semester kept going, it seemed to be a little easier for me. And I believe if I recall many people said that it would be that way. So "you all were right". As I finish up this week (hopefully have it all done by the weekend), I think I will be a straight A student which hasn't happened since HIGH SCHOOL! Maybe we should all wait to go to school until we are well into our 40s. Probably not reasonable huh? I have discovered in this process that I am not sure I could take an actual classroom class at this point. I am sure there are things that are lost in translation between the online chat and what the other students are submitting for assignments, but I think I may be too old and impatient to sit in a classroom and hear some of the comments, attitudes and ideas of the younger students. Patience! Praying for patience!
Another completion is that Miss Bailey graduates from DMACC this next week. Wednesday night we will all converge on Wells Fargo Arena (yeah - the arena) for the largest graduating class from DMACC in their history. She has done very well in her community college experience and we are proud of her. We attended her last vocal concert last night where she had a solo and did such a good job. Curtis videotaped it so watch Facebook and/or here for a post when it gets edited. The next process is under way for her. Job interview next week and hopefully she can secure a FT job while she tries to save some money to finish her 4 year degree.
Change (and a sort of completion) -- Today is the one year anniversary of my transition to Central Iowa. I can't believe that it has been a year already. Many things have happened in that year - too numerous to list here - however in the big picture they all have been positive. While this sort of thing is always a challenge, it was definitely the CORRECT decision for me and for my family. It amazes me that the process started October 2010 after a little journey to a spiritual place in North Carolina. After that retreat, I knew that I needed to make a big change in my life. And four months later the transition began.
So now there is a new job, a new house, a new life -- that sounds KIND OF like a Michael Buble song (sexy, sexy man - in a nerdy sort of way) - and I'm feeling GOOD.
So back to typing my last film class journal and studying for my Intro to Human Services (that still makes me laugh) final. I have missed posting here -- sorry for the delays. I will have more time this Summer. I decided not to take any classes this Summer -- many reasons, but most of all I am looking to transition to USD online courses sooner than a graduation from DMACC maybe. Don't want to go through the motions of getting that degree from DMACC and then not everything transfers. Colleges seem to like to do that for some reason. So off this summer and back at it this fall finishing up at either DMACC or USD.
Have a great day y'all and I want to share with you something that brought me immense joy this week. Take a quick five minutes and watch the video of Sophia Grace and Rosie meeting Nicki Minaj on Ellen. Those two little girls have so much energy and "WOO HOO"ness that I hope it is never squelched by any one. My favorite part is the reactions of the parents because they know what this means to them to meet their idol. And I LOVE Nicki Minaj. Watch and laugh -- and have JOY today!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Where have you been.........
It has been a little while since I posted. I know.....I know.
But I am in my last week before finals of this first semester. What a whirlwind! And I really haven't had a whole lot to talk about. I think my previous post/rant/b&$ch about some men and their oppression of women, I just spent all my words and energy.
I have a new topic rolling around in my brain so hopefully it will decide to pop out on Saturday morning while I am having my coffee intake.
Catch ya all later!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Not a war on women - A war on humanity!
Just when I said I am going to change the name because I don't really rant on Rho's Rants. Here comes one bubbling up from the bottoms of my feet. And I am pissed about it. I was going to title this "Conception Begins at Erection" (Curtis laughed and asked where I had heard that? I MADE IT UP because that is how ridiculous all of this sounds to me), but that isn't really what this is about.
Just calling what is going on by old, white, legislators a "war on women" is wrong. Let's call it what it is -- A WAR ON HUMANITY. And if we are not paying attention, we will be the boiled frog. You know what I am talking about? The adage that if you put a frog in boiling water, they will jump out immediately. But if you put that same frog in a pot with water that just keeps getting hotter and hotter that it will cook to death before it realizes that it is in the heat. THAT is what this feels like to me.
Here are some examples I came across this week that I felt were "worthy" to share:
Wisconsin repealed the Equal Pay State Legislation that makes it illegal in the state of Wisconsin to pay a woman a different rate than a man for the same work. The argument by the governor is that there are federal laws that take care of that. I know doing the work that I have done for many years, that while federal legislation is great, state laws have more merit when it comes to follow through and prosecution.
Another example from this week is a question and answer session with Virginia House Speaker Howell. It is apparent in the video (link above) that he is uncomfortable with her line of questioning and instead of answering her questions he starts to belittle her. Telling her that he must use "littler words so she can understand him". I call douche bag!
Arizona just passed a law signed by Governor Brewer that life "begins two weeks before conception". That doesn't even make scientific sense. But we probably shouldn't let science get in the way of this intelligent discussion huh? That might have too many big words in it for our wee little brains to handle.
I could go ON and ON and ON and ON with examples, but they really serve no purpose other than to make me very upset and illustrate how the heat is being turned up and we are going to be boiled alive.
I am currently reading a book called Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women. The link is the NY Times review. The title comes from a proverb that says WOMEN and GIRLS hold up "HALF THE SKY" in the world. But their point is that in countries where women are oppressed - sold into slavery - sexual or labor, there will likely be more incidents of war, famine, and poverty. As the review states, the book starts off with:
“Gendercide,” the daily slaughter of girls in the developing world, steals more lives in any given decade “than all the genocides of the 20th century.”
That line alone blew me out of the water. We focus so much on the casualties of war, but pay no attention to these victims around the world that are sold at the tender young ages of 7, 8, 9 - not exaggerating. The families of these young girls are told that they are going to be "working" in fruit markets or as housekeepers and then they get to the city and are forced to have sex with men and the money stays with the person (usually a woman) that purchased them. Why the girls? They have young boys too? Why are they not sold? The authors so eloquently (better than me) point out that "girl's don't matter". They are "less than" so it makes it easier to sell them. GENDERCIDE!
The book spends a lot of time talking about maternal birth rates and poverty and how we as a "civilized" country do nothing about these world atrocities. That millions of girls just "disappear" each year and we do nothing about it.
So HERE is where my rant comes in. We spend so much time arguing pro-choice, pro-life, pro-abortion, pro-WHATEVER! Can we please spend as much time working on even addressing the issue of the GENDERCIDE? Informing the world about this war on humanity?
But it leads to me to make the connection between the poverty rates in the United States that mostly affect women and children and this increased pressure on women to "conform" to standards of ridiculousness. The ridiculous "vaginal ultrasounds" before a woman can have an abortion. The expectation that everyone that has to make this AWFUL choice is having a party and celebrating is completely and utterly WRONG! I will state right now, that I don't believe in abortion. I DO believe that a person has a right to choose what happens with their bodies. I DO believe that this medical procedure is currently legal in the United States. And God help you if you Mr. Gray Haired White Man would ever have to make this life changing decision. Judgement is not yours!
The fight going on in the Senate right NOW with the Reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act - This should be a bipartisan NO BRAINER. But it has turned into a political mine field and threatens the lives of so many women, children, and men. Iowa's own Senator Grassley is in the fore-front of this fight and on the wrong side in my opinion. It has become ridiculously political.
Okay - my brain is calming down. Mostly because I am on medication for a terrible ear ache and now I am just tired. What do I want you to do?
AND DON'T BE A BOILING FROG! The water is getting HOT! JUMP MY FRIENDS! JUMP!!!!!!
Just calling what is going on by old, white, legislators a "war on women" is wrong. Let's call it what it is -- A WAR ON HUMANITY. And if we are not paying attention, we will be the boiled frog. You know what I am talking about? The adage that if you put a frog in boiling water, they will jump out immediately. But if you put that same frog in a pot with water that just keeps getting hotter and hotter that it will cook to death before it realizes that it is in the heat. THAT is what this feels like to me.
Here are some examples I came across this week that I felt were "worthy" to share:
Wisconsin repealed the Equal Pay State Legislation that makes it illegal in the state of Wisconsin to pay a woman a different rate than a man for the same work. The argument by the governor is that there are federal laws that take care of that. I know doing the work that I have done for many years, that while federal legislation is great, state laws have more merit when it comes to follow through and prosecution.
Another example from this week is a question and answer session with Virginia House Speaker Howell. It is apparent in the video (link above) that he is uncomfortable with her line of questioning and instead of answering her questions he starts to belittle her. Telling her that he must use "littler words so she can understand him". I call douche bag!
Arizona just passed a law signed by Governor Brewer that life "begins two weeks before conception". That doesn't even make scientific sense. But we probably shouldn't let science get in the way of this intelligent discussion huh? That might have too many big words in it for our wee little brains to handle.
I could go ON and ON and ON and ON with examples, but they really serve no purpose other than to make me very upset and illustrate how the heat is being turned up and we are going to be boiled alive.
I am currently reading a book called Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women. The link is the NY Times review. The title comes from a proverb that says WOMEN and GIRLS hold up "HALF THE SKY" in the world. But their point is that in countries where women are oppressed - sold into slavery - sexual or labor, there will likely be more incidents of war, famine, and poverty. As the review states, the book starts off with:
“Gendercide,” the daily slaughter of girls in the developing world, steals more lives in any given decade “than all the genocides of the 20th century.”
That line alone blew me out of the water. We focus so much on the casualties of war, but pay no attention to these victims around the world that are sold at the tender young ages of 7, 8, 9 - not exaggerating. The families of these young girls are told that they are going to be "working" in fruit markets or as housekeepers and then they get to the city and are forced to have sex with men and the money stays with the person (usually a woman) that purchased them. Why the girls? They have young boys too? Why are they not sold? The authors so eloquently (better than me) point out that "girl's don't matter". They are "less than" so it makes it easier to sell them. GENDERCIDE!
The book spends a lot of time talking about maternal birth rates and poverty and how we as a "civilized" country do nothing about these world atrocities. That millions of girls just "disappear" each year and we do nothing about it.
So HERE is where my rant comes in. We spend so much time arguing pro-choice, pro-life, pro-abortion, pro-WHATEVER! Can we please spend as much time working on even addressing the issue of the GENDERCIDE? Informing the world about this war on humanity?
But it leads to me to make the connection between the poverty rates in the United States that mostly affect women and children and this increased pressure on women to "conform" to standards of ridiculousness. The ridiculous "vaginal ultrasounds" before a woman can have an abortion. The expectation that everyone that has to make this AWFUL choice is having a party and celebrating is completely and utterly WRONG! I will state right now, that I don't believe in abortion. I DO believe that a person has a right to choose what happens with their bodies. I DO believe that this medical procedure is currently legal in the United States. And God help you if you Mr. Gray Haired White Man would ever have to make this life changing decision. Judgement is not yours!
The fight going on in the Senate right NOW with the Reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act - This should be a bipartisan NO BRAINER. But it has turned into a political mine field and threatens the lives of so many women, children, and men. Iowa's own Senator Grassley is in the fore-front of this fight and on the wrong side in my opinion. It has become ridiculously political.
Okay - my brain is calming down. Mostly because I am on medication for a terrible ear ache and now I am just tired. What do I want you to do?
- Read this book. It is amazing and eye opening and disturbing and inspirational
- GET INFORMED! Not just from one news source. In fact - not news at all - read alternate websites, books that have scientific research on the matter, and form your own opinions.
- Speak out
- MOST OF ALL VOTE! Women can not stay home this election year. We must ascend on the polls as if there is a revolution
AND DON'T BE A BOILING FROG! The water is getting HOT! JUMP MY FRIENDS! JUMP!!!!!!
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