French Press Coffee, fully charged computer, and a head full of thoughts

Another week has flown by and here I am again able to put fingers to keys and hot coffee to lips. 

I have been so busy this week, that I haven't had time to think about anything but work (not even school -- uh oh - assignment whirlwind today).  Was on the road for three days this week.  And what might seem like me complaining, really isn't - aside from the sore feet, legs and hips from a combination of hotel room bed, standing at a conference all day, and riding in a car for 7 hours (round trip) - I think the work that we do on the policy and management level of the state for victim services while not as important as the front line work that some amazing advocates do across the state, it is an important part of the puzzle that all goes together to make the world a better place for the those that experience trauma at the hands of EVIL humans (see last week's post).  Being a part of training 100 individuals in different fields of study working with victims of stalking was a high point to my week.  

Aside from the very deep and worthy discussion about spirit animal guides which was right up there too - mine is a hawk by the way.  But you all knew that.

But the word in my head that has floated to the top of the pile this week is PAIN.  Even though I am dealing with some physical pain this morning from above mentioned things, that isn't what I am talking about.  I am talking about the emotional wounds and pain we all walk around with every day.  These pains can be from long ago hurts - words or physical - from those that were supposed to love us.  Or those present day experiences of pain in all of our relationships - intimate and otherwise.

We all have it.  It comes from our every day experiences.  It comes from many aspects of our lives.  How do we deal with these?  What does carrying around that pain look like for you?

My BFF Angela Shelton (www.angelashelton.com) talks about it as a sword.  And Lordy that is what is in my head when I think about it.  SHE PUT THAT THERE FOR ME and I THANK HER FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY FEET!  

That is what it feels like.  This gigantic sword of life experiences has pierced our very soul and wounded us.  We walk around with the hilt of the sword sticking out and if pierced deeply enough to create a complete through and through, then the point is sticking out the back of us.  This has created a planet of trauma filled ZOMBIES with hilts and points piercing other people as well.  The walking wounded if you will.

So in my head, we have DEEP piercing wounds that leave huge holes of need in our souls.  Bruises from other peoples sword "hilts" or handles hitting us.  And small lacerations from their sword points nicking and slicing us.  And we do the same thing with our swords.  We wobble around this world nicking, slicing, bruising and otherwise deflecting our injuries on others.

And it HURTS!  

SIDE BAR - One of my favorite covers by the late great Johnny Cash helps me wrangle this "HURT" emotion -- CLICK HERE.  And the video is AMAZING.  What a pain filled soul!

But we get very good at hiding that pain.  Compartmentalizing that pain.  Ignoring that pain so it comes out in other ways.  Self medicating, treating ourselves in a hurtful way, hurting others that we care about.  I am not writing this morning to think I have an easy answer for this - again purging that spare closet in my head and this is the "old piece of clothing" I pulled out today.  I actually woke up thinking about it this morning.  LUCKY YOU (as I have said before). 

But I do have some thing that helps me.  Again, from my Sista - ANGELA SHELTON and her trauma workbook.  You can buy it on Amazon here.  You can download a PDF here.  I love this workbook.  It has helped many a person I know through some tough times.  Including myself.

Okay - that is my purge today.  Only answers I have for you regarding pain is... be kind to yourself.  Be kind to others and be aware of the pain that is being inflicted on you and the pain inflicted by you to others.

So even though the top of the pile is PAIN today, I am confident buried under all those UGLY things that I keep talking about there is some BEAUTY that is hiding.  Some positive energy that is hibernating and waiting to be released.  So stay turned for the purges in the weeks ahead.  It could be about "the importance of clean underwear".